This whole day, Saturday has been given to my Co-Curricular Activity (CCA), the NUS Buddhist Society. As one of the Management Committee, the Deputy Dharma Director, I'm starting to feel the weight of the job mounting onto my shoulders now. Last semester the previous post holder, Kyaw has already settled everything nicely for us, we just had to oversee and "run" the thing. But this semester we're really doing it for the first time and so it's a bit of trial and error learning I'm experiencing here. There's some trouble with the venue booking and I spend the whole 1st week of my sem worrying, fixing it. There's even time when I was so low that I considered not taking up another post next sem. But then the sms, email reply to my call for help came from the MCs, and it does help me keep my spirits up.
Today morning, after overseeing my handover files and preparing myself, I've gone to the 1p.m. meeting of NUSBS Management Committee. Well, at there, I immediately forgot my troubles as I see all these beautiful faces of my friends. One could not be down for more than a few seconds when one is with them. They are there, working, doing, sacrificing their time and themselves in order to spread the goodness of the Dharma to more students of NUS. And as we do the meeting, (now that I reflect on it) we are attentive, helpful, nice, and only gone off topic for some small amount of time. We are really serious on doing our jobs!
We even have a birthday celebration for Eddy! And we kinda waited for Lin Myat and Kyaw to come back and join in the rest of the meeting. Then there came the issue of selecting the next post, I wanna rejoined before in the last sem and made it clear, so they just kinda assume that I will (my raised hand did help too). And I now ask myself: What am I thinking?
Next academic year I plan to be a Junior mentor in SPS, take 6 modules including graduate modules and still going to take up the responsibility of a NUSBS MC. It's inertia from the past aspiration that made me want to do it again. And this initial setback is common and should be expected, besides, for my lack of experience and not being too serious in my job, I kinda deserve this. As to why am I wanting to take up the post again? Partly it's to contribute more, partly it's to stay in the BS community more, But more so partly it's to allow myself more opportunity to stay in touch with the dharma and to train myself more, to be better and better, until enlightenment. It seems that I am still kinda ego driven....So maybe I should give up the post, should a better and more suitable person and take it up. Well anyway, I think I'll have no qualms about taking up the post next semester. I can certainly do the responsibilities that comes with it!
And here's to all my fellow MC friends: Thank you for being there! May all of you attain to enlightenment and always keep in touch with the dharma until then.
It seems like a good place to end, so I won't say that we had a 6 hour (wow) long meeting and had a good dinner together after that.
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